Does it really exist?
This week we had an incident in our home and it is one that needs to be shared with the masses, because let’s face it, no one has a perfect marriage, but you can get to the point of perfection when you just know what to do, and when to do it, to make YOUR marriage perfect.
Clearly, I am aware that my job is to be a housewife and to take care of our home. However, we have come to an understanding that my husband will clean up after dinner; it’s not asking too much to put dishes in the dishwasher and possibly soak a pan or two, so he never really complains about it. This week, however, he went to take the trash out of the trash can and liquid began dripping all over the floor as he rushed it out the garage door and into the bin. I just sat at the table and let it go for the moment since it was Sunday and I had plans to clean the floor anyway during the week. Well, he proceeded to “try” and find something to clean it up with, but since he doesn’t clean our house he has no idea what I use or where it is kept, so I told him to just keep cleaning the dishes and I would get it.
So he did. I began to clean the floor, but could not find any spots at all. He put a new trash bag in the bin and I thought all was restored in the world and my Sunday would go on like normal. Oh was I wrong; as I went to throw something out I noticed that the entire tray that the bin sits on (to prevent spills on my wood floors) had liquid all over it, he did not care to mention that that was were it had spilled, nope, he just let me clean half the kitchen floor for no reason. So I took out the new trash bag, threw the trash bin into the garage and had a mini tantrum because what my husband was not aware of was the entire bottom of the bin was wet and smelled awful.
This is now where you will learn how to have a perfect marriage.
I knew there was no use in explaining to him that he was the ONLY one in the house who put any type of liquid in the trash bag each day (exhibit A – his french press coffee grounds). I try to limit the number of things that go in the trash to begin with, because it is such a small bin. Since I was not about to have an argument on a Sunday, I picked up the bin and proceeded to throw that entire trash can in the larger bin in the garage. I was done with it and its sorry excuse for a working trashcan.
It should also be noted here that we have had that trashcan for a decade, so it wasn’t brand new, and it was a pain in the butt anyway.
Back to my story of the perfect marriage, after throwing out the bin, I then just set a trash bag on the spot that a NEW garbage bin would be one day and went to my office. I proceeded to go to Amazon and find the most beautiful garbage bins for your kitchen you could ask for and hit order on the Automatic Touchless Motion Sensor Rectangular Trash Can. My husband did not say a thing to me, even after receiving the American Express notification that a charge had been placed. He went to work on Monday, no coffee grounds in the bag that morning, and when he came home and I was making dinner I told him our new garbage bin arrives on Tuesday. He said, ok, thanks love.
That folks is how you have a perfect marriage, don’t point fingers, don’t put blame on anyone in the marriage, fix the problem and then they will eventually realize that they are the reason the liquid dripped out of the bag – most likely because the bin had not been emptied in days and was full to the brim.
Side note – We are also adding to our kitchen this month a mini compost pail for his coffee grounds, yet another fix to our trash can dilemma of January.
I never said I was perfect, and I never said I would do everything around our house. I do most things, but just like when my mother used to get mad at us for not filling the ice tray when clearly it was out of ice, if the bin is full take the bag out, we don’t have magical house elves here, and he knows it. After 13 years together we realize that arguing is just a waste of energy, we typically walk away, and all is restored in our house within a day. We really could never tell you the last time we had an argument or disagreement, and if we have we really don’t remember what it was about. It’s not that we ignore problems or don’t deal with them, it’s just that the world has too many larger problems that we don’t have time to worry about a bin that wasn’t a good one to begin with and needed to know its place in the world – the trash.
My husband is my best friend and my marriage is my proudest moment so far in life. We work hard to be able to just sit and laugh with each other every night. Anyone that tells you marriage doesn’t take work, doesn’t have a strong marriage in my opinion. I refuse to just “go through the motions” of life with someone; marriage is the biggest adventure you will ever take, so why not enjoy every moment and leave the arguments for those crazy politicians in Washington.
If there is one thing you can count on from me in 2018 it is that I will always tell you the real, raw, honest, crazy things that happen in our lives, dirty trash bin and all.